That Russian Is Mine
by PrussianAwesomeness
Summary: Kinda cracky. Request from Kiki4ever who wanted to see America and China confronting Russia on who was the better lover and singing "The Boy Is Mine" By Brandy feat. Monica. Perhaps some OCC-ness coming from both men. I had to change the lyrics slightly.


**That Russian Is Mine**

America bit into his burger appreciatively. Today was gonna be a good day. He had his burger, he already pissed off England three times and he was going to visit Russia in the evening. Oh yea, this was going to be a _great_ day.

"Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute aru?" a voice said above him. America blinked and looked up. The man in front of him was Oriental Asian, with long black hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Uh huh, sure. You know… you kinda look familiar," America remarked, mouth full of hamburger.

"I'm China aru!" China said in annoyance. _Right_, America should've known that. What with China making more than half the shit he sold in his country.

"Oh yea… so what d'you want?" America asked curiously. The two of them rarely talked.

"I just wanted to know if you know somebody named - you know his name," China said suddenly. America blinked. He did? Was China talking about Russia? He probably was. Weren't they like, Communist buddies or something?

"Yeah definitely – I know his name," America said casually. "So?"

China cleared his throat before sitting down across from America. "I just wanted to let you know that he's… he's mine aru," China said. America blinked. Oh _hell_ no.

"Huh? No… no. He's _mine_," America said. China sighed.

"You need to give it up America. I've had about enough aru. It's not hard to see, Russia is mine," China said possessively. America blinked. Excuse me? Since when was Russia _China's_? Last time America checked, China was still running away at the very sight of the Russian.

"Ok I think it's time we got this straight. Let's sit and face to face, right here right now. There's no way you could mistake _him_ for your guy – are you insane?" America shot at him.

China smirked at him. "You see I know that you may be just a little jealous of me because you are blind if you can't see that his love is all for me aru," China said. America glared at the older man. Since when did Russia say _that_ to China? Just a few nights ago Russia told America that he was his only love. No more playing "Mr. Nice Guy".

"You know… I tried to hesitate because I didn't wanna say what he told me. He said without _me_ he couldn't make it through the day. Ain't that a shame?" America taunted. China sighed, still playing the 'I'm-smarter-and-wiser-and-older-than-you-and-Russia-loves-me-because-of-that' card.

"Maybe you misunderstood because I cannot see how he could want to change something that's so good since my love is all that it took aru," China said stiffly to the American. What the hell? Change something that's so good? As if China was better than America at… whatever he was implying. America was fucking number one for a reason!

"Give it up China," America growled.

"I've had about enough with your behaviour America," China replied through clenched teeth.

"It's not hard to see that Russia's mine, China," America told the older man.

"I'm sorry, you seem to be confused. He belongs to me. Russia is mine," China said stiffly. Whoa, now China was starting to sound like that Belarus chick that followed Russia everywhere. Did she somehow possess China so she could torment America without Russia realizing it was her?

"You sound like a creeper," America said. A biting insult like that should make China back off, right?

"Must you do the things you do and keep on acting like a fool?" China said in irritation. "You _need_ to know that it's _me_ not you – if you did not know that America it's true aru!"

Ouch. That hurt America's pride. "I think _you_ should realize and _try_ to understand why. He's part of _my_ life and I know it's killing you inside."

China glared at him. "You can say what you want to say but what Russia and I have you cannot take. From the truth you cannot escape. I can tell from the real and from the fake – and Russia can too."

"I am _not_ fake!" America said hotly. "When will you get the picture? You're the past and _I'm_ the future. Get away it's my time to shine because if you didn't know – Russia's _mine_."

China's glare intensified. If looks could kill… "You cannot destroy this love I found. Your silly games – I won't allow aru! Russia is mine without a doubt. You might as well… how do you young ones say? Ah yes, you might as well throw in the towel."

"What makes you think that he wants _you_?" America said angrily, "When I'm the one that brought him to this special place in my heart," here America jabbed at his own heart furiously, "'Cause he was _my_ love right from the start!"

"You should give it up America," China warned him. America growled. This dude wasn't getting the point!

"I've had just about enough…" America said threateningly.

"It's not hard to see," China continued, "that Russia is mine aru."

"I'm sorry," America said, mock-apologetically, "You seem to be confused. He belongs to me," he said, a dark expression appearing on his face [an expression that could scare the hell outta anybody], "Russia is _mine._"

"Not yours aru," China said angrily.

"Mine," America said in a finite tone.

"Not yours," China repeated.

"_Mine_," America repeated as well, the insane dark look intensifying.

"_Not_ yours!" China exclaimed.

"Mine!" America yelled.

"I'm sorry but you seem to be confused aru!" China yelled back, standing up. America slammed the now-cold hamburger onto the table and stood up too, neither man caring about the stares they were receiving from the other people in the Food Court.

"He belongs to me!" America exclaimed.

"No _me_ aru!" China replied angrily.

"Russia is mine!" they both yelled in unison, glaring at each other with an intense hatred, eyes never leaving each others. People nearby began to back away for fear of a sudden brawl.

"My two favourite people together in one place? Today is a good day, da?" a cheerful, childlike voice said nearby. Both the American and the Chinaman blinked, turning to the newcomer.

"You," they said in eerie unison. Russia's smile didn't falter.

"What were you two talking about?" he asked cheerily.

"Who do you love more – _me_ or China?" America said suddenly before China could beat him to it.

Russia blinked. "What do you mean America?" he asked. "I love you both!"

"But who do you love _more_?" America asked in frustration.

"Me?" China asked.

"Or me?" America added. Russia looked between the both of them, smile fading ever so slightly before brightening again.

"Both of you!" he exclaimed, pulling both men into his arms _tightly_. "I love you both because you have become one with Russia! I will love _everyone_ if everyone becomes one with Russia!" he exclaimed, a rather malevolent glint in his violet eyes.

America and China exchanged a look as Russia sat them down back at the table and pulled up a chair to join them.

They sure as hell hadn't been expecting _that_.

The End.

* * *

**A/N: ****"My two favourite people together in one place? Today is a good day, da?" a cheerful, childlike voice said nearby. Both the American and the Chinaman blinked, turning to the newcomer.**

**"You," they said in eerie unison. Russia's smile didn't falter.**

**"What were you two talking about?" he asked cheerily.**

**"Who do you love more – _me_ or China?" America said suddenly before China could beat him to it.**

**Russia blinked. "What do you mean America?" he asked. "I love you both!"**

**"But who do you love _more_?" America asked in frustration. **

**"Me?" China asked. **

**"Or me?" America added. Russia looked between the both of them, smile fading ever so slightly. **

**"Neither of you," a voice said behind the Russian. The three men turned around to see a slender young girl staring at them, her violet eyes glinting evilly. "Brother is _mine_," Belarus said wickedly, holding up a gun. Before either man could say anything she shot the two dead. Russia stared at them in horror as Belarus beamed up at him. "Time to go home brother and _marry_ me!" she exclaimed, dragging a horrified Russia away from the bodies. **

**After that day, the country of Belarus became known as Belarus - state of Russia.**

**The Actual End.**

**/shot.**

**Kinda cracky one-shot for Kiki4ever who guessed first who the person Belarus is plotting to kill in _In the Night_ is. She asked for China and America confronting Russia on who was the better lover and singing "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy feat. Monica [aka the song that Mercedes and Santana sing about Puck in GLEE *epic hearts*]. Heh... I really liked writing this. I had to change the lyrics up a bit or it'd be a bit repetitive or it'd sound weird or make America and/or China sound a bit OOC. I hope you liked it! Phew, long A/N is long. :/**

**Reviews make China and America sing "The Boy Is Mine" drunk - karaoke style. **


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